During times of grief, maintaining close relationships with loved ones can aid in the healing process.
“One of the saddest times in my life was when my mom passed away in 2021,” junior Isabella Cibrian said. “It’s not something I’m embarrassed of, it’s actually something that I think should be shared. She was such an amazing person.”
When Isabella was 11 years old, her life was abruptly changed when her mom was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. She described it as one of the hardest and scariest times in her life, as she was young and wasn’t 100 percent looped in on everything that was going on.
“It was really stressful because I was really young, so I didn’t really get told anything,” Cibrian said. “The day before she passed away, my whole family came down from all over the U.S. to say their final goodbyes to her. I didn’t know why they were there and I didn’t understand what was happening.”
Cibrian was 13 at the time.
“The day before and the day she passed away were the scariest because I didn’t understand why everyone was crying and why they were all there,” Cibrian said. “A few days before my family came down, the hospice employees sat me and my brother down and basically told us that our mom was going to pass away and that there was nothing we or anyone could do about it.”
Cibrian described her mom as someone who would light up any room she walked in, and she recalled a few different memories she had with her mom that she said would always bring her joy. Although this was a very hard time for her and her family, it also brought her closer to her grandma and siblings, as well as her dad. She explained how her grandma became her best friend at this time and someone she could confide in and call every day.
“My favorite things about her were her smile and her laughter because anytime she would walk into a room she would smile, and the whole room would just glow around her, and it was very contagious, and we have had so many laughs with her,” Cibrian said.
She said she loved it when they watched “The Bachelorette” before bed.
“Anytime I would have a nightmare I would go into her room and watch it with her and stay up past my bedtime to watch it, and we would cuddle to make me feel better,” Cibrian said. “I also think that I have gotten closer with my family. Me and my dad are closer than ever. Me and my grandma got really really close after my mom died. My grandma became my best friend and someone I would call every day after school.”
Around this time she lost her mom, Cibrian got her dog Duke, a miniature Bernedoodle. She talked about how he helped her get through the tough time and how she also felt connected to her mom through him. Duke has been a line of support for her, and she said whenever she feels sad and needs support, she has him to go to.
“There are a lot of things about Duke that remind me of my mom, and his characteristics remind me of her, and the affection that he gives me reminds me of the affection she used to give me,” Cibrian said. “My dog Duke shows me a lot of affection and love, and he is always there for me to cuddle, and when I’m sad he is always there for me to pet him, and I feel like he’s another reason I should keep moving on, and he helps me stay strong because has had such a big impact on my life. Duke is like my kid.”
Although Cibrian’s mom’s passing was a difficult and sad time for her, she said she was grateful for the way it brought her family closer. She said her mother’s passing shouldn’t be something left in the past, and her life should be celebrated.
“It’s something I’d like to talk about more,” Cibrian said. “She was such an amazing person. I talked to my brother a lot about the fact that it felt like everyone moved on, and it should not be something that is moved on so fast. And it’s going to affect us our whole life, and we should continuously talk about it. If she could talk to me right now I think she would tell me that I am doing a good job and that she loves me.”
